Some thoughts on Radical Kindness. (For those of us who are feeling forlorn.)

Last week really sucked! The prospect of a much more conservative Supreme Court that might not protect rights we’ve come to take for granted...the acts of our current administration that seemed tailor-made to hurt the most vulnerable among us...the intense heat. All of that combined to put me in a tremendously sour, negative mood going into the weekend. To top it off, I watched The Handmaid’s Tale (Season 2, Episode 12), which, to put it mildly, didn’t help my outlook.

That’s when the universe decided to give me some hope.

First, Jim and I went on a date night Friday night and decided to see “Won’t You Be My Neighbor”, the documentary about Fred Rogers. This movie can make you feel hopeful again. Fred Rogers’ kindness, gentle manner and steadfast protection of children serves as a wonderful guide on how to affect positive results within society. He first went on the air during the summer of 1968. He calmly responded to all the tragedy and turmoil of that year and help explain them to young children. Mr. Rogers didn’t shy away from tough issues. He put them into a context of loving kindness and consideration for all people. Watching that movie made me want to be a better person. It made me want to be quieter and more considerate of others, and more protective of those who don’t have the power to protect themselves.

Second, the hot weather broke on Saturday and we had a glorious day. Just being able to spend time outside in nature without sweating profusely was rejuvenating. We slept with the windows open and awoke to birdsong. It was lovely.

Thirdly, I went to church on Sunday morning. And the sermon was about “radical kindness”. The minister, Susan Andrews, talked about the fact that we’re called to be kind to EVERYONE. We’re called to welcome the refugee, feed the hungry and clothe the naked without regard to our own comfort or benefit. This particular sermon was on the book of Ruth and the transformative power of kindness in the face of tragedy and hardship.

I got the message. Be hopeful and be kind.

I’ve been very angry lately when thinking about the news and public policy. As a result, I’ve often found myself thinking horrible, uncharitable thoughts about those with differing political views from mine. (I stand by thinking these things about people who say racist, sexist or xenophobic things. But I’ve been painting other conservatives with this broad brush and that’s probably not fair.) Demonizing one’s opponents just further entrenches the gulf between sides. Does anyone really think that hectoring Kirstjen Nielsen at a restaurant makes her MORE open to the arguments you’re making?

I know some very nice people who are conservatives and who support this president. They’re people who have supported my mom during her cancer and have been wonderfully kind. They’re people who have made her feel loved and supported. Many are my own family members who have done tremendously loving things for me and mine over the years.

I’m encouraged by a politician who I’ve been following and something he did last week. Mark Osmack is running in the Democratic primary for the opportunity to oppose Congresswomen Ann Wagner (US House Representative from Missouri’s 2^nd District). Mark is unabashedly progressive. But he went to a gun show last weekend to talk to gun owners and try to find some common ground on gun safety measures. He had respectful conversations with many people. And they found several issues that they could actually agree on. In an ideal world, these could be the seeds for creating some common sense gun safety measures.

So, following his lead, here’s what I’m trying to do (and I need a LOT of reminding- just ask my mom):

1.     Acknowledge that finding consensus on issues is the only way forward. Shutting out the other side just leads to further entrenchment and more trouble down the road.

2.     Try to stop, breathe, and react to others with kindness.

3.     Do more to protect and empower the vulnerable among us. (Activism, protests, dialogue, voting).

4.     Give more time and money to charities that do this good work.

5.     Support candidates who will try to find consensus on the big societal issues.

6.     Resist the urge to demonize the other side. (I’m discouraged by some of the rhetoric around the Supreme Court nomination. We can oppose the nominee and question his writings/decisions without branding him a horrible person who would usher in Gilead IRL.)

I won’t stop trying to protect those whose rights are threatened. And I still think that we’ve elected a despot who is enacting policies that are diametrically opposed to everything that Christ tried to teach us. So, yes, I’m probably already a hypocrite.

But EVERYONE ELSE I’m going to try to respond to with kindness and love.

A Non-Partisan Values Protection Pledge for Lawmakers?

I’m still heart-broken over the results of our election. It’s hard for me to see that so many Americans were willing to vote for this man who I believe has shown an obvious disregard for truth, reason and education. But the fact is that they did. And now we all have to figure out our next moves.

There were 63 million people who chose Trump. I don’t believe that all 63 million have hate in their hearts. Many of them just couldn’t see themselves in the agenda of the Democratic party. How can we ensure that they don’t make the same choice during the mid-terms in 2 years or during the general in 4 years? How can we reach out to reasonable Republicans to help fight the more extreme parts of the Trump agenda? How can we ensure that we eventually get back to a truth-based, fact-based political discussion? 

First, we need to acknowledge that we’ll need some of them. We need to reach out to the more moderate Republicans to help ensure that we protect certain democratic (small d) rights over the next few years. We need to take control of the narrative and call out hypocrisy and untruths when they happen.

Here’s my attempt at a list of (hopefully) non-partisan values that I think are key to America’s identity. I’d like to call to my friends across the political spectrum to help me ensure that we hold our representatives accountable for protecting these values. Maybe we can develop a values-based equivalent of Grover Norquist’s Taxpayer Protection Pledge. Maybe it could look something like this.

My America:

-       Protects minority populations from discrimination (whether that’s due to race, religion or sexual preference).

-       Invests in quality public education for ALL its citizens, holds them to high standards and treats all children as valuable, regardless of the zip code in which they were born.

-       Doesn’t deny well-documented science. BUT doesn’t leave people behind while trying to make the environment better.

-       Looks at facts over what “feels” true. My America holds elected officials accountable for telling the truth.

-       Isn’t made for just the 1%.

-       Values education, research and innovation and isn’t afraid of progress. My America looks forward, not backward.

-       Values immigrants and the gifts that they bring this country.

-       Doesn’t punish children for the acts of their parents.

-       Is the land of the free and the home of the brave. NOT the home of the people who cower and limit freedoms because of a handful of hateful extremists.

-       Puts the Constitution (the WHOLE Constitution) above everything else as the law of the land. The Constitution protects religion, minorities, immigrants AND the press. It gives everyone in this country an equal say. It protects access to the polls. And it protects the rights of lawful gun owners.

-       IS GREAT NOW!

Thoughts? What did I miss? What should come off of this list? Am I delusional to believe that these values are bipartisan? Admittedly, I'm liberal. Don't conservatives believe these things, too?

In my concept, any politician who isn’t willing to sign this pledge would be asked to explain why. What specifically do they disagree with? And anyone who does, but then supports a policy antithetical to the pledge (like a Muslim registry or eliminating DACA) could also be called out.

I suspect that it will be up to us as citizens (on both sides of the “aisle) to get much more involved in government over the next few years.  I hope I’m wrong, but we may need to become more personally involved in protecting rights for some of our more vulnerable neighbors. Even if our new president doesn’t use hate speech, his success has already emboldened some who do to come out of the shadows. We may need to personally support programs that lose government funding.

We will only be successful in all of this if we work together with like-minded people, regardless of their political persuasion.