Some thoughts on Radical Kindness. (For those of us who are feeling forlorn.)

Last week really sucked! The prospect of a much more conservative Supreme Court that might not protect rights we’ve come to take for granted...the acts of our current administration that seemed tailor-made to hurt the most vulnerable among us...the intense heat. All of that combined to put me in a tremendously sour, negative mood going into the weekend. To top it off, I watched The Handmaid’s Tale (Season 2, Episode 12), which, to put it mildly, didn’t help my outlook.

That’s when the universe decided to give me some hope.

First, Jim and I went on a date night Friday night and decided to see “Won’t You Be My Neighbor”, the documentary about Fred Rogers. This movie can make you feel hopeful again. Fred Rogers’ kindness, gentle manner and steadfast protection of children serves as a wonderful guide on how to affect positive results within society. He first went on the air during the summer of 1968. He calmly responded to all the tragedy and turmoil of that year and help explain them to young children. Mr. Rogers didn’t shy away from tough issues. He put them into a context of loving kindness and consideration for all people. Watching that movie made me want to be a better person. It made me want to be quieter and more considerate of others, and more protective of those who don’t have the power to protect themselves.

Second, the hot weather broke on Saturday and we had a glorious day. Just being able to spend time outside in nature without sweating profusely was rejuvenating. We slept with the windows open and awoke to birdsong. It was lovely.

Thirdly, I went to church on Sunday morning. And the sermon was about “radical kindness”. The minister, Susan Andrews, talked about the fact that we’re called to be kind to EVERYONE. We’re called to welcome the refugee, feed the hungry and clothe the naked without regard to our own comfort or benefit. This particular sermon was on the book of Ruth and the transformative power of kindness in the face of tragedy and hardship.

I got the message. Be hopeful and be kind.

I’ve been very angry lately when thinking about the news and public policy. As a result, I’ve often found myself thinking horrible, uncharitable thoughts about those with differing political views from mine. (I stand by thinking these things about people who say racist, sexist or xenophobic things. But I’ve been painting other conservatives with this broad brush and that’s probably not fair.) Demonizing one’s opponents just further entrenches the gulf between sides. Does anyone really think that hectoring Kirstjen Nielsen at a restaurant makes her MORE open to the arguments you’re making?

I know some very nice people who are conservatives and who support this president. They’re people who have supported my mom during her cancer and have been wonderfully kind. They’re people who have made her feel loved and supported. Many are my own family members who have done tremendously loving things for me and mine over the years.

I’m encouraged by a politician who I’ve been following and something he did last week. Mark Osmack is running in the Democratic primary for the opportunity to oppose Congresswomen Ann Wagner (US House Representative from Missouri’s 2^nd District). Mark is unabashedly progressive. But he went to a gun show last weekend to talk to gun owners and try to find some common ground on gun safety measures. He had respectful conversations with many people. And they found several issues that they could actually agree on. In an ideal world, these could be the seeds for creating some common sense gun safety measures.

So, following his lead, here’s what I’m trying to do (and I need a LOT of reminding- just ask my mom):

1.     Acknowledge that finding consensus on issues is the only way forward. Shutting out the other side just leads to further entrenchment and more trouble down the road.

2.     Try to stop, breathe, and react to others with kindness.

3.     Do more to protect and empower the vulnerable among us. (Activism, protests, dialogue, voting).

4.     Give more time and money to charities that do this good work.

5.     Support candidates who will try to find consensus on the big societal issues.

6.     Resist the urge to demonize the other side. (I’m discouraged by some of the rhetoric around the Supreme Court nomination. We can oppose the nominee and question his writings/decisions without branding him a horrible person who would usher in Gilead IRL.)

I won’t stop trying to protect those whose rights are threatened. And I still think that we’ve elected a despot who is enacting policies that are diametrically opposed to everything that Christ tried to teach us. So, yes, I’m probably already a hypocrite.

But EVERYONE ELSE I’m going to try to respond to with kindness and love.